If you’re constantly managing stress, deadlines and uncertainty, or trying to juggle family and work demands, it’s easy to normalise stress. But what if this normal is driving your body to quietly run in survival mode most of the time? What if your nervous system, not your mind, is behind your irritability, fatigue, or inability to “switch off”?

This is where Polyvagal Theory, developed by neuroscientist Dr. Stephen Porges, becomes especially relevant. It offers a powerful lens through which to understand stress, not just as a mental state, but as a physiological one deeply rooted in how safe your nervous system acts on your behalf.

The Three States of the Nervous System (According to Polyvagal Theory)

Polyvagal Theory explains that your autonomic nervous system doesn’t operate in a simple on/off way between the over-simplified two branches sympathetic and parasympathetic. Instead, it uses three main branches to constantly assess safety and threat, shaping how you feel, think, and respond. Our nervous system developed over thousands of years so it was not formed for the world we now live in.

1- Ventral Vagal (Social Engagement & Safety) part of the parasympathetic system

1. • The state of calm alertness, presence, and connection
   • Lies at the heart of rest and digest
   • Supports communication, open awareness, creative thinking, and emotional regulation
   • At work, this is when you’re in flow, engaged, responsive, steady and collaborative with colleagues

2- Sympathetic (Fight-or-Flight Activation)

1. • The mobilisation system that readies the body for action
   • Narrows focus, produces urgency, productivity, but also anxiety, reactivity, and restlessness.
   • When chronic, can also present as the ‘swan,’ calm on the outside while stressed or anxious on the inside. (a blend of Sympathetic and Dorsal Vagal)
   • Common in fast-paced work environments with constant deadlines and pressure
   • Energy consuming and fatigue inducing

3- Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown & Withdrawal), another, evolutionarily older,  branch of parasympathetic

1. • The freeze response occurs when the nervous system becomes overwhelmed and is unable to escape what it perceives as high threat
   • Can show up as mental and emotional disconnection, fatigue, brain fog, or feeling emotionally flat or numb
   • It is designed to conserve energy, conceal signs of life and ensure survival by, at its most intense, feigning death
   • Often mistaken for “calm,” or self-contained, especially in high performers who appear composed but feel detached
   • Needs deeper recovery strategies than Sympathetic arousal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyones Nervous System is Unique

It’s important to recognise that each person’s nervous system responds differently to stress. What triggers one person’s sympathetic activation or dorsal vagal shutdown may have little effect on someone else. Similarly, the strategies and time it takes to restore balance and engage the ventral vagal state are highly individual. Over time, each of us develops unique nervous system habits—patterns of response shaped by genetics, experiences, lifestyle, and resilience—so personalised approaches are essential for effective recovery, performance, and wellbeing.

When Calm Isn’t Calm: Chronic Hypoarousal and the Dorsal Vagal Response

Not all stress looks like agitation or panic (hyperarousal) . Many high-functioning people operate in a chronic state of hypoarousal, the body’s subtle attempt to survive ongoing pressure by shutting down, conserving energy, and numbing or disconnecting from emotion.

This is the dorsal vagal state, a form of parasympathetic activation that is protective, not restorative.

It can look like:

• Flat emotions, less facial expression, depressed mood or emotional disconnection
• Low motivation or persistent fatigue
• Difficulty feeling joy, inspiration, or connection
• “Showing up and going through the motions” with no felt sense of reward or momentum
• Appearing calm on the outside, while feeling hollow or overwhelmed inside

This state is often misunderstood, especially in driven, responsible professionals who are praised for being “unflappable” or “stoic.” In reality, the nervous system has simply shut down to cope with prolonged overload.

Recognising this pattern is crucial. Without awareness, it can dip into depression or lead to confusion about why you are still able to go through the motions but feel so disconnected. But your system may be doing exactly what it’s designed to do in the face of relentless demand: disconnect in order to survive.

Why This Theory Matters in High-Stakes Workplaces

You might have the job you want, the responsibilities, and the to-do list down to a science. But if your nervous system doesn’t feel safe, your brain can’t operate at full capacity.

High performers often override these signals with sheer willpower, sport or coping habits that provide only temporary relief, but that’s not sustainable. Your nervous system works automatically without conscious direction. And over time, automatic sympathetic overdrive or dorsal shutdown leads to:

• Reduced emotional intelligence and decision-making quality
• Living in defence rather than co-operation
• Disconnection from colleagues and clients
• Loss or performance, energy and ability to focus
• A loss of meaning or sense of identity
• Difficulty accessing the “top gear” of your performance

Team and Interpersonal Morale Promote Performance

Polyvagal Theory highlights that positive social connection isn’t a luxury, it’s a biological necessity for recovery and protection against chronic stress. We evolved to be safe in community and the workplace is a community. Your brain and nervous system are constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger, what Porges called “neuroception.”

At work, this plays out in subtle but powerful ways:

• Teams thrive when there’s warmth, mutual support, trust, and psychological safety alongside healthy competition and deadlines
• In environments where criticism, micro-stressors, constantly moving goalposts or rushed interactions dominate, people drop into defensive or shut-down states
• Even small shared moments of human connection, eye contact, humour, and presence can help shift someone back toward a more resilient state

How to Use This Insight to Stay Resilient

Understanding Polyvagal Theory helps because it raises awareness and teaches you to:

• Recognise the physiological states you shift through; all of the states described are normal but need to stay flexible
• flexibility within the nervous is trainable with he right recovery methods
• Know that “calm” can be masking shutdown as a result of overwhelm
• If something feels ‘off’ internally, it probably is. Don’t ignore it just because you’re unsure what to do about it
• Being fatigued, wired and disconnected is not something to be pushed through
• Develop daily rituals and tools that shift you back into a parasympathetic state
• positive social connections are biologically designed to help regulate your nervous system
• mastery of nervous system resilience is a blend of individual responsibility for working with our unique nervous systems and social responsibility for the interconnection of our biology

This might include:

• Intentional breathing to re-establish regulation
• Movement to remobilise the body and reduce tension
• Social interactions to download and decompress from your day with people who help you feel at ease
• Recovery strategies to signal the end of the working day (nature, warm bath/ shower)
• Health Technology interventions that improve nervous system resilience, especially recovery from stress,  from the inside out

In Summary

You don’t need to feel “stressed” to be out of balance. Polyvagal Theory reveals how the nervous system adapts to chronic stress, often below our conscious awareness, making adaptive decisions on our behalf.

For high-functioning professionals, this theory offers not just insight but a roadmap. A way to understand why things feel off, even when everything looks like a normal day. A guide to reclaim vitality, connection, and clarity by working with, not against, your physiology.

And most importantly: A reminder that true resilience doesn’t mean pushing through. It means creating the conditions, internally and socially, that allow your system to feel safe enough to thrive.